


Faith in Grace

by blackeyedqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (somewhat), Angst, Comforting Castiel, Crying, Cuddling, Fever, Hospitalization, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 07:27:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1849537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackeyedqueen/pseuds/blackeyedqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU after 9.10. Kicking out Gadreel left Sam in not-so-great shape. Left severely ill, he asks Castiel to help him, putting all of his faith in the angel. Except, with stolen grace, that's not a faith that Castiel shares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith in Grace

“Cas… Castiel, _please_ …”

Castiel sits on the edge of Sam’s hospital bed, fingers carding through the chestnut hair, smoothing it back from the man’s brow. He stops the motion, placing his whole palm on the top of Sam’s head and rubbing his thumb along the forehead, calculating the heat radiating from it; 103.8 degrees Fahrenheit, 39.9 degrees Celsius.

“Sam…”

Sam weakly tosses his head from side to side in a childlike manner. “ _Please_ , Cas…”

Tears are beginning to fall from his tired eyes now, and Castiel wipes them away with his thumb.

“Sam, its not a good idea. You’re not thinking clearly.”

It’s true; Sam’s fever is too high and he’s not really making rational thought.

“But Cas… you can save me, you can make me better. I trust you, you can fix me. And you could do it _right_ , Castiel… please.”

Sam just has so much faith in Cas, but Cas just isn’t sure he can trust himself anymore.

“Cas, you could do it. You could help me. I don’t want to die… Just take that other angel’s place inside of me, please…”

Sam’s sobbing harder than he was before, now, and it’s breaking Castiel’s heart. Expelling Gadreel had its consequences, one of them leaving Sam not much better off than he was before the angel entered his body. He’s conscious this time around, but not much healthier. Castiel reaches around the sick hunter’s shoulders, lifting him from the mattress and into his arms. Sam is so much smaller in his arms than he used to be, weak and trembling, wet cheeks and greasy hair. The boy in his arms sounds like Sam and acts like Sam but doesn’t feel like Sam or look like Sam, and Castiel has never felt so helpless before in his multi-millenia long life.

“Shh, Sam…” he tries to soothe. “You wouldn’t want that. You’re just not thinking about it properly.”

“I am!” Sam argues. “I want this, Cas. I want you to help me. I trust you.”

“Alright Sam, let’s talk about this, ok? Just listen and I’ll tell you why we shouldn’t.”

Sam wraps his arm around Castiel and puts his face into the angel’s neck, puffing hot heavy breaths onto the skin and trying to calm himself. Castiel runs his hands up softly and down the heated skin of Sam’s back through the opening in the thin hospital gown.

“That’s it,” Cas soothes. “Just calm down and listen.”

Sam nods into his neck.

“Alright, first of all, this grace inside me isn’t… mine. I took it from another angel, so I could escape captivity. Sam, I could never allow this inside of you,” Castiel explains, willing Sam to understand.

“But Cas, it’s still _you_ and you’re one of us. You’ll always be one of us. Please, Cas, it’s still you.” Sam is crying harder again into Castiel’s neck, rambling and pleading.

“Hey, hey,” Castiel murmurs. “Sam, I just can’t do that to you. I don’t trust it. And do you really want another angel inside of you again, so soon?”

Sam suddenly tenses in his arms, sucking in a sharp breath. He then chokes out a moan as fresh tears fall down his cheeks. Sam pulls away from Castiel, face twisted in pain and doubling over as he wraps his arms around his torso like he’s trying to hold himself together.

Before Castiel can think of what he’s doing, he’s laying Sam back on the mattress and prying his arms away. He murmurs in a low soothing voice that everything’s okay as he presses his hands to Sam’s body, willing them to take away the pain. And they do.

Castiel’s hands seem to absorb the pain radiating from Sam’s torso, sucking it up into his own palms. Castiel lets out a sigh of relief as Sam relaxes under him.

“Everything’s okay, Sam. It’s okay, I can still help you, I promise I’ll help you… I can’t let this grace from another angel inside of you, but I can help take away the pain and maybe this sickness. We can try… It will take a lot of time and a lot of effort. But I can try. I will try, Sam. I promise.”

Sam’s eyes slide close as he whispers thank you. It doesn’t take long for the hunter to succumb to sleep, and Castiel fights back his own tears as he runs his fingers through Sam’s hair again.

Castiel is going to try. He’s going to try to help Sam.


End file.
